Put that gun down and walk away from the steam press!!!

Okay, Vin, forgot to tell you that after the Newark Museum, we decide to also register at Macy's ( for those people who can't get to Crate and Barrel). So, we stopped by the Macy's at Newport Mall and we sat in front of the Bridal Registry desk. The woman at the desk appeared to be very happy to be working at Macys (please note the dripping sacrasm). She just had us fill out some paperwork and asked us the same questions that we on the paperwork that we were filling out. Vin answered the questions while I filled out the forms. As she entered our information into the computer, she asked what our names were. Cheryl and Vince. Well, another co-worker named Sharon came over and asked her if she wanted her to take over. She said, "Don't worry. I will take care of Vincent." The happy worker stated, "No, his name is Vince." Sharon stated, "Well, I know him as Vincent." A few minutes later after Vin stretched his brain Vin realized that Sharon was a mother of a classmate of his from grammar school days. Sharon was pleasant and helped us register and showed us the scan gun and left us to scan through the store.

Well, Vin had his day holding the scanner and pointing and shooting away. I was left holding the registry sheet and my coat while I picked out cookware, barware, flatware. Vin and I argued a bit on some but mostly it we agreed on most stuff. He really wanted this cool retro looking microwave but there was none to scan. He was also really excited about this steam press. He wanted to put 3 of those items down on our registry.

Wandering around the shelves looking at items got me a bit dizzy (especially since I have a head cold) and so we didn't complete our list. We might head over at another time to the Macy's in Short Hills or Paramus and complete the linens, towels, and the Swisswerks luggage that Vin wanted. Next time, I get the gun.

wait one freakin' minute!

i asked cheryl upfront, as soon as we started if she wanted the scanner gun and she said no. that's why i was doing the scanning.

don't believe the hype.

the newark museum

cheryl and i went to the newark museum to check out the space for our reception. i know that we already have that mansion place, but it's nice to keep our options open.

the museum was terrific. not a doubt. the room were the reception would be help was elegant. then the special events co-ordinator walked us around the museum and the attached victorian home/mansion which the museum bought to to keep from being destroyed and to renovate it. the s.e.c said that couples like to have their pictures taken in front of the fireplaces, and on this beautiful staircase with a stained glass window behind them. the place was beautiful.

however, it was expansive: $5000. rental fee for the museum, $89+ per person, we would have to rent about 100+ chairs because they only have 100, buy our own liquor, and pay for the guest parking.

and we would have to be comes members of the museum, which would have been $35. a year, for each of us.

other than that, beautiful.

My news

I think we find the site for our reception. Woohooo!!!!! It will be held at the Oakeside Mansion. it is a quaint historical house that is made in the Colonial Revival style. It has its charm and I think it will offer an intimate setting for our reception. The cocktail hour will be held in the house but the reception will be held in a tent on the grounds.

A couple of our friends have been there and thought it was very nice. The grounds are really beautiful in the spring and summer and I hope early fall. The banquet manager showed us pictures of a fall wedding and it was still green and the trees were full and lush. I am excited because it won't be held in a wedding factory and I won't have to share the site with other brides to be. We also got a pretty good deal for the place. I am not sure we could get much lower than what we paid. All other places were comparable or more expensive. Me, being Anxious Annie, always wonders if there is a better place somewhere else with a better deal. Yet I am worried that no one will have our date. I really like this place because it is different than all those banquet halls. I also just want a wedding that everyone enjoys themselves so I guess it doesn't matter where it is.

We are still going to check out some other sites even though we left a deposit. We will be viewing the Newark Museum tomorrow and next Friday the Parsipanny Hilton. I already know that the Museum is out of our league and the Hilton. Well you know my thoughts on sharing a site with other brides. (Okay, I'm selfish and egotistic- so I want all the focus on our wedding).

If you want to check out the site. You can go to the cater's website on www.frungillo.com and click on Oakeside mansion.

Now one thing less to worry about. Now comes the dresses. Oh boy.

cheryl has some news

i can't write about it because i don't know all the information. but when she gets here i'll have her write about it.

hold on a sec...

am i the hero or heroine? just wondering in case i have to shave my legs or something.... and more importantly, what super powers do i have? can i walk through walls, use my x-ray vision, speak to fish? what?

Heading somewhere Part deux

Alright. Where was I again? Sorry about the last blog. I had a hard time publishing it. Hopefully this will go through. As I was saying, Monday night I was becoming a bit of a bridezilla and freaking out. (just ask Vin and Armi). I was calling several places that morning and either our date was unavailable or the prices was too costly. Me, being the pessimist that I am, thought that I was not meant to get married.

Well, I am in a better state of mind today. Thank God. He must have heard my prayers because there are two other places that are available on our date. There is one place called Oakeside Mansion which looks really cool. The price is also pretty practical from what I have been hearing. $90/pp - $130/pp depending on what we order. We are also able to bring our own liquor which may be more cost effective, according to the wedding guides. It will be a tented event because the site can't hold 200 people (it is a historic home) but the tent will be heated. I looked at the website and I like what I see. I hope to see the place by Friday.

Vin also told me that Hilton Parsippany is available on our date. Cost is $112 -$130 with an open bar for 5 hours. We have an appointment to see them next Friday.

Whew!!! We got options. Now decisions, decisions, decisions. Please tune in to see how the harrowing events unfold as our heroine and hero battle for reception sites, vendors for flowers and djs, as well as the dreaded wedding dress try-outs.

something's missing

cheryl wrote a post but it didn't get saved/published for some reason?...

luckily, i have some news; cheryl got some places to check out for the reception. a hotel, a banquet hall, and a victorian home-type place. we have many options now, besides these, we have the newark museum to check out on saturday.

things are starting to look good.

Heading somewhere

nothing too new

howdy,

i don't think cheryl or i have done a thing this weekend. she mentioned something about having feelers out. i have to call a bunch of places tomorrow, if i can; i have some stuff to do for school.

vanessa gave me a lead i'm going to have to check out. i'm not going to mention anything until i call.

thanks vanessa.

that should be about it for now, i just didn't want the weekend to go by without a post.

but wait, there's more....

i've called more places today; some got back to me, some didn't. the ones that did, didn't have the date/time we want so i'll have to call (back) more places on monday.

and since it seems cheryl has been having some trouble with names as of late, i'll let you know that the gentleman's name was igor, not ivan. moot point. no big deal. i mean, he wore pink. he's not russell simmons you know.

A little more than 9 months and counting

Vin and I went to check out our first reception hall, The Atrium, in West Orange. We were runnning a bit late (Vin hit traffic coming to my house) for our 4 oclock appointment. We shouldn't have rushed because we had to wait anyway for the wedding planner, Ivan (Yes, Ivan). He was in a grey pinstripe suit with a pink shirt. I know pink is in but I really don't like it on men. Sorry ; (

Anyway, here is my assessment:
Decor was not my style - not as gaudy as others but the banquet room was a bit too much with the pin lights and the fabric linens.
Food - we were not able to taste but the selection they had was pretty appetizing according to their descriptions.
Drink - Open bar. What else can you say.
Price - $100/person - including open bar(top shelf), raw oyster bar, champagne and strawberries for guests as they walk in, white glove service, free hotel room for bride and groom, and valet service. Must guarantee 200 person minimum
Overall: I thought that the price was not too bad for what you get despite the decor and the pink shirt. Unfortunately, even though this is way over our budget, we couldn't book it anyway because the date we had in mind was taken.

So, off we go looking again. Wish us luck because alot of places are already booked.

it's official

cheryl & i will be getting married. yes, we will. it'll be on 5.november.2005 at the seton hall university chapel. we're going to the chap-el and we're gonna... nevermind. so in more days than i have fingers and toes, but less days than there are hairs on cheryl's head, we'll be married. yay team!

ps. to cheryl: stop it or i'm gonna blush.

Thanks

This is going to be a short blog. Although it should be longer. I just want to say thanks for all the well wishes that we have been getting in person, in email, and in our guestbook. You don't know how much your well wishes and support means to me (and hopefully Vin). We got a sweet email from our friend Paula and I got not only a sweet egreeting but a snail mail from my matron of honor Jen. We also got well wishes from across the country from my cousin Ayee. Some people have offered suggestions and advice and gotten us contact info like my friend Kris and Vin's family. I could go down the list with others (and you all know who you are). I just wanted to say Thanks. It is very heartening and very much appreciated.I can't wait to see you all at the wedding to show my thanks.

I also wanted to put out the dreaded PDA (yes, public display of affection) to Vin. I want to thank him for providing support and strength through my anxieties and for taking an active part in this wedding process. Since the day I met him, it was always about us or me and never about him. Thank you. LUL.

a day (10) of planning

well, oh, well. i've called six places looking for reception halls and have gotten no where. three aren't availabe on our date, one is too expensive, one co-ordinator is on vacation until next week, and one has a full voicebox.

looks like i'll have another tomorrow calling places.

getting organized

Well, people are telling me that we have got alot done already in a week. I am not sure what they mean because we haven't locked down a church yet ( I have left a message with Seton Hall that we want to book 11/5/05 but no call back due to the holiday - Martin Luther King Day). I guess the website, the partial registry, and the wedding party list is considered a lot of work. That was the fun part. Locking down a decent reception site for a limited cash. Well, that is the hard part.

50% of the budget goes to the reception so we are trying to get something not too frou-frouy, too gaudy, or too expensive or too cheap. We want our guest to enjoy the food, the drink, and the merriment. We shall see.

Vin and I went to Staples to get organized with all the information we will gather regarding the reception sites. We got a notebook to put in contact info and to log in the pluses and the minuses of each site. We also got an accordion file so that we can put any business cards, contracts, and any of these notes of not only the reception but other stuff like flowers, attire, music, and etc. I think we are off to the right track.

After staples, we went to the Jersey City Hyatt; it has a nice view of the city and the Hudson river. We got contact info and Vin will be calling to get an appointment. It is probably out of our price range but we shall see.

Actually, Vin has a list of reception sites to call and set appointments. Thank God, he is taking ownership of this wedding. He is just as invested in this celebration as I am and he sure wants to make this wedding fun. That is his goal for this wedding: fun.

Well, Vin will keep me updated tomorrow and so, I will keep you updated later on as well.

P.S. I want to say thanks to David Priven - one of Vin's friends and groomsmen. We received our first gift from them. It was a bit unexpected and in fact, we had a hard time narrowing who gave the gift. Yet, the gift made me cry a bit and I got excited a bit. I have been a bit anxious about this wedding and losing an hour or two of sleep a night over this wedding but the gift kind of solidify the excitement of the event and the thought that we will be surrounded by friends and family who care. So, if you are reading this David - thanks for the thought and we are both glad and honored that you are in our wedding party.

Sorry, this wasn't a short one. Hopefully, I will be more to the point in the next blog.

and the winner is...

looks like it'll be the seton hall chapel. now we just have to reserve it, find a priest, and make sure it's o.k. that we don't belong to any parishes. seton hall chapel wants letters from our parishes saying that it's all right for us to get married there. cheryl doesn't belong to any specific parish, and well, i haven't belonged to any since grammar school.

next up, reception hall....

Back on line

Okay, I know that you all miss me and all my verbage. Trust me. This is will be alot shorter than my last entry. Okay, to update you all. I have contacted 4 churches: Seton Hall Chapel, St. Joseph, Our lady of Sorrows, and St. Anthony. Here is the description of the four:

• Seton Hall Chapel - Suggested Donation: $750; seating capacity: 182; provide own priest
• St. Joseph - Suggested Donation: $600; musical director (mandatory)- $150; seating capacity -200- 250
• Our Lady of Sorrows - Suggested Donation: $250; musical director/organist (optional): $200; cantor (optional) : $125; unfortunately, you have to wait a year
• St. Anthony - Suggested Donation: $150; unfortunately, mass in latin

So, I am in a bit of a dilemmia. Seton Hall is in the lead but expensive. I don't mind the Latin mass but I am not sure if our friends and relatives love us that much to sit through that. Possibly ix-nay on the atin-lay.

Well, I'll keep you posted. See I told you it will be a short one but can't promise that the next one will be as short.

just so you know

cheryl has been wanting to write a post for a few days now; she just forgot her login information.

it has been sorted out now (i believe) and she should be posting again soon.

day five

nothing new as far as i know; but then i haven't spoken to cheryl today. for all i know, she could've booked a church, reception hall, the dj (hope they play punk), and caterer. (but i doubt it.)

i've added a guestbook to the wedding site. please sign it. do it for cheryl. do it for the dolphins getting caught in the fishing nets. do it for yourself.

there was something else... umm... what was it... hmm... oh, yeah,...

cheryl and i will be going to some "wedding expo" thing on sunday, 30.jan.2005. it's like a show for djs, caterers, and stuff. i guess. i don't really know. cheryl wants to go, so we're going. not that she's making me. i am going of my own accord. i want to be a part of the planning for this as much as cheryl is. i mean, someone has to say "no", right?

the website is live

our wedding website is live. you can find it at wedding.dreamanxiety.com.

i realized after i made it live that you cannot, technically, get back to the intro page. i'll either fix that, or wait until it gets updated. i don't think it's that big of a deal at the moment. not when there are so many other interesting things to read and see.

spread the word....

after 48 hours of planning

cheryl got in touch with the seton hall chapel. turns out there is a donation required. and a rather large one at that. that bothered cheryl, but not as much as the fact that it can hold only 182 guests. now if you recall, we had 200. i explained to her that not everyone will be attending the ceremony.

then she realized that the wedding party, the 16 bridesmaids and groomsmen, plus the two of us, equals 18. 200 minus the 18 of us leaves 182.

but the donation is still a major factor.

i've almost finished the website. most of the pages are done. i just have to do a little more work on the homepage and it'll go live. i'm thinking tomorrow afternoon. i'll let you know here, with a link, when it's up.

day three

cheryl hasn't had any luck getting in touch with the seton hall chapel. they didn't return her calls. i, on the other hand, have been busy trying to create our website.

i've gotten the basic design down, now it's just a matter of making everything look nice and pretty. hopefully, i'll have it up by friday. i'll announce it here when it goes live.

the guestlist has grown to about 200 people. i don't mind but cheryl is getting nervous. i figure whatever happens, happens. whomever shows, shows. as long as cheryl & i are there, that's all we really need. most of the 200 are cheryl's family and family friends.

i hope they like punk music.

day two of planning

cheryl is freaking out already. big time. hehehe.

day one....

cheryl and i got a bit of wedding planning done:

• got most, if not all, of our guest list together
• got more wedding party confirmations (it'll be a total of 16, 8 for her, 8 for me, if i can find enough guys. which i think i have.)
• started a registry at crate and barrel
• looked at some invitations
• read up on tips & tricks
• signed up at theknot.com. we're not going to set up a website for ourselves on the knot; i'm going to make one on my dreamanxiety.com site

so not too bad for one day, i think. (o.k., i hope since there's only 300 days left, give or take)

One step beyond

It happened all last night. Well, our romance actually happened way before that but the first formal step into wedding madness occurred last night at a restaurant named Ole. My fiance and I have been going out for 2 years, 9 months and 15 days to be exact. Talk of marriage was skirted around and teased about but marriage was just a wishful thought, a dream, flight of fancy but nothing else until last night.

Last night was supposed to be a time to get together with friends to celebrate the new year, our friendship, and the achievements of Sumisibol, this non profit organization that I founded. Was I expecting a marriage proposal at this event? There were clues that I speculated on. Such as Vin patting himself down supposedly " to look for a pack of cigarettes". Yet, it wasn't like Vin to make himself the center of attention in such a public space so I quickly swatted that notion out of head.

So, there I was a bit tired from a stressful workday talking to friends and catching up. There I was when Vin gathered friends to the table. I thought, "Good, I and others from Sumisibol should speak to our friends and have a toast to Sumisibol obtaining its first grant from the state. Thank God, Vin is taking that initiative." Did I suspect a proposal then? I kind of entertained the idea but I was tired and I just listened. Then came Vin with the speech thanking people for coming and telling them how I enjoyed being with my friends (Which is true). Then he said, "That is why I would like you to participate in this." Then he got down on one knee and proposed in front of friends, my brother, strangers, and Ole waitstaff. Of course, I mumbled a yes while I wept with joy and excitement.

How surreal that moment was. How surreal it continues to be. How funny that things haven't changed much. I thought that I would experience this great change, this transformation. Yet, because things remain the same it feels surreal because things are beginning to change. Oh how I am afraid to change. I am afraid of setting up this wedding; I am afraid of the move into my own home; I am afraid of being a wife and possibly mother. These fears don't reflect the measure of love I have for Vin. I love him more than life itself. I miss the times I am not with him. These fears reflects more my measure of myself. How good will I be at all these things? How good will be in handling all these changes? Am I basically good enough?

So, this blog is an indulgent exercise of catharsis and self-reflection. I will chronicle the good times, the stressful times, the funny times, and the confusing times of this wedding process. So, I would like to thank you for indulging me in this exercise and I hope that you will find this entertaining as I will find it relieving. Trust me the rest of the blogs won't be so long, so cerebral, and so boring. I probably won't have time to do that as I start taking the steps to plan the wedding. Lucky you!!!