How to have a good Marriage 101

Yesterday we went for our Pre-Cana class, a pre-marital class for us Catholics. The room was filled with about 150 other happy and engaged couples (and there were other not so happy couples there too). It was only 5 hours long and Vin was able to grin and bear it for the most part. The class was led by a marital and family therapist, not a priest. Thank God. He was pretty entertaining and most informative.

Most of the time, he talked about how to communicate and how to resolve problems. Much of the information I am familiar with because I was trained as a counselor. (Yet, because I know doesn't mean I practice what I preach. I try to be mindful of this all the time). We had a workbook but we really didn't spend too much time on it. We were asked to spend time on it at home. Vin promised that we would go through some of the exercises and I am holding him to his promise. See Vin is not so big on this stuff. I love this stuff. I love to gain insight into our relationship and what makes us tick. It is the psychologist in me.

Fortunately for Vin, there were only a few times we interacted with other couples. There was one couple in front of us that we felt had anger issues. The woman throw the workbook down forcibly at one point and kept drumming her pen in an angry way. At one point of the class, we were asked about if we handled conflict by hitting one another and she had gestured to her fiance that she had been hit by him three times. This was a couple who needed tutoring one-on-one on pre-marital issues. This was a couple who probably shouldn't get married.

Well, after a quick mass (about 30 minutes long) we got our certificate stating that we are ready to get married. Honestly, I am not sure if this class with the way that it is structured can really prepare people for marriage or prevent divorce. I guess it is convenient for people to attend one day class and I know that there are many people like Vin who think it is a needless formality. Yet, if the Catholic Church really want to prevent divorce, I think they need to put more time and effort into these classes. People who are committed to each other in marriage should be committed enough to attend classes to prepare for marriage. I know that may not be the popular line of thinking but that is what I think.