Calculated risks

I had met friends for brunch on Sunday. What does this have to do with the wedding, you ask. Nothing, really. Other than that they asked about the wedding and the progress that is going on. One of my friend stated that she reads this blog regularly and would like to make some comments but is afraid of the reactions of other readers. I encourage everyone to comment. Nothing personal will be taken and it makes it more interactive. I enjoy reading more than my own ramblings. Other people have given me suggestions such as message boards where people can share some funny stories of Vin and I when we were younger but Vin stated that it would be hard to manage. Other people have sent me a lot of advice via private email and that has been helpful too. So, comments and feedback is more than welcome. It is good to know that people are interested in our life and are reading the blog.

At the brunch, my friends asked me have we decided where we are going to live. Trust me. Vin and I have been bouncing back and forth over to rent or buy. Rent or buy. Rent or buy. This decision has been circling my mind. There is a lot of things to take into factor. Money is the biggest issue. I know all about building equity and building an investment and giving your money away in rent. I also know that I am not sure if I want to settle for something just to buy. I also have a hard time parting with money, especially all the money that I saved up. I am already having anxiety over spending the money for the wedding. Another big ticket expense I don't want to see so quickly.

Other factors are Vin's career; Vin's need to move out of his apartment by July; Cheryl's separation anxiety from her parents; Cheryl's anxiety about living out on her own and surviving on her; and Cheryl's irrational fears about being put out on the street. Yes, I am a bit of a neurotic. I crave safety. No risk. Just safety. It is a wonder that I am even taking this risk of getting married.

Yet, I am. Despite my neuroses, I am starting to grow up and take responsibilities. I am willing to share my life with the man I love and I am willing to take care of him and possibly the children that we might have (that is a whole other type of neuroses attached to that issuethere). I am also willing to take the risk and trust that he will take care of me and our children.

So, where does this leave me? I guess, I am willing to take the calculated risk of getting married and living in an apartment with my new husband. Equity or no equity. Next year, we will calculate the risk of buying a house together. I guess we take it one risk at a time ; )